The truth about divorce & marriage

The truth about divorce & marriage

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A lot of people don't know that I was married when I was in my early 20's. Actually, some of my closest friends don't even know this. I got married when I was religious. As I described in the blog titled From Milk (Religious Culture) To Meat (Kingdom Culture), there are 3 cultures in this world. When I was married, I thought okay, I'd marry someone who seemed to be okay with going to church, and I'd be good to go. I was ignorant about marriage, God, the Holy Spirit, Jesus. I'd go to church because it seemed to be the right thing to do. I did not even know God's plan, purpose, and pursuit for my life. My marriage ended in divorce.

For about 20 years, I was sliding in and out of Christianity. It wasn't until 2018, that I committed my heart to having a relationship with Christ and my life has never been the same. As I started to re-read the bible, and grow spiritually one of the questions that I asked Jesus, is if I was an adulteress because the word says as follows:
For a married woman is bound by law to her husband while he lives, but if her husband dies she is released from the law of marriage. Accordingly, she will be called an adulteress if she lives with another man while her husband is alive. But if her husband dies, she is free from that law, and if she marries another man she is not an adulteress. Romans 7:23 
“For the man who does not love his wife but divorces her, says the Lord, the God of Israel, covers his garment with violence, says the Lord of hosts. So guard yourselves in your spirit, and do not be faithless.” Malachi 2:16
“It was also said, ‘Whoever divorces his wife, let him give her a certificate of divorce.’ But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. Matthew 5:31-32
Jesus's response to my question kind of shocked me. While I didn't believe he would tell me I was an adulteress, I also did not expect this response. He said that his blood is sufficient, and that it has cleansed me from all unrighteousness (e.g. the sin of adultery). This made me think of something Paul said in 1 Timothy 1:13 "Even though I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief." While God hates divorce, he doesn't hate the people who have been divorced. As God has cleansed you from your sin of unrighteousness whether it be lust, fornication, sexual immorality, homosexuality, etc...he also cleanse adulterers.

This post is not to justify divorce; however it's to shed light on God's grace and mercy.

The reason why I even bothered to ask Jesus the question I did is because he told me that I would be married by the end of 2020, that it's part of his plan for my life. Just the other day I was reading  1 Corinthians 7:14 and it said that married spouses can be sanctified through one another. I thought to myself, WOW this is huge. Sanctification is the process of allowing the Holy Spirit to set us apart from the world, so that we can be full of the Holy Spirit and emptied of ourselves. I pondered this verse for like a day and then I came across the video below. Which I believe God led me to, as I was not looking for it.
For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy.  1 Corinthians 7:14 
Please watch the whole video but really focus on what the wife said at the 43:30 minute mark.  What she said really helped me understand what 1 Corinthians 7:14 meant. God calls people together in marriage to help save one another. This is a calling from God and has been his plan before the creation of this world .While, I don't believe a husband is the master of a wife. I do believe believing husbands are the head of their wives [Ephesians 5:23].The reason why I said believing husbands is because this concept of a husband being the head of their wife is biblical. When this is done between two unbelieving people, it'll never work out, as the husband would think he owns his wife and religious people tend to be harsh, abusive, etc and the wife may find herself having self-pity.

From my experience, if you want to get married, marry someone who is full of the Holy Spirit. This means that they are emptied of themselves [read Galatians 5:19] and full of the Spirit [read Galatians 5:16]. When a believer is full of the Spirit, and you are full of the Spirit it'll be almost impossible for satan to destroy what God has put together. Many believers marry when they are not being sanctified [allowing the Holy Spirit to set them apart from the world, so that he can fill them with himself], and or they marry others who are not being sanctified which means that their marriage is a religious marriage [mixture of Kingdom culture and Worldly culture] and then they wonder why, satan is attacking their marriage. Their foundation was built on mud and not rock.

The best advice I can give anyone who wants to marry is:
1. Be full of the Holy Spirit (not only filled) and to make sure your spouse is also full of the Holy Spirit. The fullness of the Spirit will bear the fruit of the Spirit as we read in read Galatians 5:19.
2. To make sure you understand God's will, plan, purpose, and pursuit for your life and that the person you want to marry understand the same.
3. That both of you are living by faith already (Romans 1:17)
3. To make sure God is your martial counselor. That both of you have an undeniable agreement that when problems or situations happen that you don't react, rather you rest and go to God for an answer. When believers are living by faith, they will know God's opinion about their circumstances and situations.

"Living by faith is easy, it brings peace. Living by sight, and your thoughts are hard, it brings stress." - ANJWC

Read Part II (The truth about single-hood & marriage)