Draft My Testimony: One Year of Trials December 1, 2019 - December 1, 2020.

Draft My Testimony: One Year of Trials December 1, 2019 - December 1, 2020.

I. Before being born again
I was born again on May 19, 2018, although I had been a church-goer all of my life. When I was under the age of 12 I loved Jesus so much. I used to read the bible all the time. My grandmother gave me a purple kids bible for my birthday and till this day that was one of the best gifts I had ever received. I used the bible so much the cover came off. From a young age, I was being tormented by demons and I believe it was due to three factors. I believe one factor is due to a decision my parents made. I believe the second factor is due to God's plan for my life. I believe the last factor was where we were living. Back then I did not know what the baptism of the Holy Spirit was or that the Holy Spirit was from God. Remember I was reading the bible by myself from the ages of 6-12 and I had no one to explain it to me. The kids church in the 90's was a bit different then the kids church now-a-days. Back then I was justified, but I wasn't born-again. Thus, the Holy Spirit was upon me, not inside of me. As I read the bible I'd I skip over the words demon, spirit, Spirit, Holy Spirit due to fear that grew from the demonic attacks.  I used to be afraid to go to sleep, and that fear allowed those demons to attack me more. These demons were small demons with horns. While they were not high-ranking demons they were scary looking.

During my undergraduate studies, at one point I followed Jesus again, and I started to be attacked again. One day an angel of the Lord told me not to fear. As soon as he said that, I stopped fearing and the demons could no longer use the sin of fear as the doorway to oppress me. This is the reason why we should explain to children once they hit the age of accountability who the Holy Spirit and why we should ask them if they want to be baptised with water and the Holy Spirit. My life would have been radically different if I would have been baptised with the Holy Spirit from the age of 6. Due to God's plan for my life, I also had gifts of the Spirit operating in my life from a young age. I had no idea then that this what it was. The two gifts without a shadow of doubt that were operating in my life was discerning between spirits and wisdom. Without those gifts, I would probably have been so far gone into sin that it would have been hard for me to come back to Christ.

Recommended post: Understanding Deliverance

This is what we speak, not in words taught us by human wisdom but in words taught by the Spirit, explaining spiritual realities with Spirit-taught words. The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness,and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit. 1 Corinthians 2:13-15
II. Escaping Religion & The World
I spent my teenage years, young adult years [approx. 15 years - 29 years] backsliding in and out of Christianity. I would try to do what the bible said but I could not no matter how much I agreed that it was right or tried to. Firstly, I needed to be delivered and secondly, I needed the Holy Spirit. It wasn't until 2017 that I even thought about the Holy Spirit again, and that came about because a pastor said "this is the year of the Holy Spirit." Not even really understanding what that meant, I put that quote on my vision board and saw it almost every day for a year.

In 2017 I was attacked with a ton of health issues. I had a biopsy, had my heart checked, had my lungs checked, had many trips to get blood work, had ultrasounds of my thyroid. I was in and out of the hospital, emergency room, and urgent care.
  • Thyroid Disease: hair loss, weight gain, memory fog, depression, skin issues [black spots], heart palpitation, digestive issues, aching painful bones, forgetfulness, felt like a golf ball was stuck in my throat, problems swallowing, felt like I was going to pass out.
  • Sleep Apnea: inside of my nose burnt to prevent blockage
In additional to these attacks, I had attacks in my work-life which eventually (over a period of time) led me to have unforgiveness in my heart towards a manager. A month before my surgery I saw a demon enter in my room and it was causing me to have very bad palpitations. A day before my surgery in 2017, I had a NDE experience in which I went to hell due to unforgiveness [click here to watch the video]. Four months after my NDE experience, I realized the magnitude of what happened and how real it was. I read Katherine's book the Revelation of Hell and watched other NDE's on Youtube.

Jesus answered and said to him, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God.” - John 3:3
III. Born again - The New Me!

I called in from work because I had no peace and I was scared of going back to hell. I had a heart conversation with Jesus Christ. I said Jesus Christ it's either I live all for you or I don't live for you. I am tired of backsliding, please teach me how to live for you and within days of that heartfelt conversation, I was born-again. My spirit left my body, I received a new spirit [Ezekiel 11:19; Ezekiel 36:26; Jeremiah 31:33; Hebrews 8:10]. Before this happened I heard electricity, and felt it. While I was receiving a new spirit, I saw Jesus in the spirit. I had a knowing that God asked me why did I want to stay on earth. Back then I could only say because of my dad, I didn't know God had a plan for my life. I didn't know any of what I know now. At that moment, I saw colorful pictures of my dad from youth to adulthood in the most beautiful colors. I then saw Jesus breath life into me. Seconds later my mom called me on the phone. I was shook by this whole experience. Approximately a day later, on perhaps the same day, I felt the Holy Spirit come on me as gentle as a dove. He enveloped my body.

Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. - James 4:7
IV. I was oppressed!
Immediately afterwards, I was justified, born-again, and sanctified. However, I did not know how to be led by the Holy Spirit. Although, I was reading the word of God everyday, praying and praising [because I loved to], I was not obedient to the word of God nor the Holy Spirit and the first six months after being born-again I found myself severely oppressed by demonic spirits due to the following three reasons:
  • I found myself trying to lead the Holy Spirit. I wanted him to speak to me the way that I wanted. While this did not become obvious until after the fact, that is what I was doing. The Holy Spirit is God, and he will not be led by mankind. Thus, demonic spirits used this as an opportunity to get me to believe that the Holy Spirit was leading me. Rather, it was demonic spirits. I was driving around town thinking I was going to meet specific people and pray for them. Recommended post: 7 Tips to help us communicate with God better.
  • After Jesus told me that he has called me to teach, heal the sick, and cast out demons, I did not know about pursuits, processes, pruning, anointing and appointment. Thus, I decided to cast out all the homosexual spirits in San Francisco, California. Those spirits oppressed me so badly, and it's only by the grace of God that I am in my right mind. The reason why these homosexual spirits had the the illegitimate authority to oppress me was because I did not do what James 4:7 tells us to do. For further details read the post titled The Different Types of Prayer. When I was oppressed it was so strange to me because I found myself fighting off thoughts that DID NOT come from me. There may have been hundreds of demons in my apartment. With my eyes closed, I could see spirits flying by. My lights were flickering and I could not control my thoughts. Recommended post: Understanding Deliverance.
  • I was watching a sermon online from a pastor who told the congregation we should ask the Holy Spirit to take away our free will. Although he meant well that's not something anyone should ever ask for. God is not going to go against his own  word. He is not going to make everyone else have free will, and allow us to have our free will removed because we're fearful or don't want to exercise faith in Jesus Christ. Recommended post: Don't pray against the bible.
To make a long story short the Holy Spirit led me to read James 4:7 in December of 2018, and by March 2018 I finally understood that James 4:7 is the Believers Authority. Note: I was delivered by reading the word of God and via the Holy Spirit [Hebrews 4:12]. I asked the father for mercy, after repenting from my stupidity, and those demons left.

Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice inasmuch as you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when his glory is revealed. 1 Peter 4:12-13
IIV. The trials began
The first six months after being born-again I kept hearing Jesus say the following:
  • Shepherd my people and teach them how to live for me
  • Many people will be saved because of your love for me, and my love in you
  • You will heal the sick, cast out demons, and raise the dead
When Jesus said this to me during this time I knew God had a plan for our lives. However, I did not accept his plan for my life because I really thought that this new life was mine. When Jesus said shepherd his people, I did not know what he meant. Back then I did not know a shepherd was a pastor. Nor did I know that pastors taught. When he said many people will be saved because of your love for me, and my love in you, I never really thought too much into it. While I realized that to get me to that point it would take work. I did not understand that there's a pruning process [John 15:1-5].

I grew up around powerless Christianity,  meaning people professed Christ but never believe in their heart for anything more than salvation. So I was around born-again believers, and also churchgoers who want only the good from God and never the bad [Job 2:10]. Which btw, if God allows us to experience the bad it is also good for us [2 Timothy 3:1-7]. I knew believers had to go through situations in their lives due to being obedient to Jesus, but I also thought that if they've used their authority and knew their identity then they wouldn't be in their situations. While this is true to an extent, back then, I did not believe in my heart that God also uses trials and tribulations to test us, prune us, grow us, and promote us. Don't be deceived, God will and does! During the time that God test us to prune us, if it's not to teach us how to use our authority & know our identity, then using our God given authority and knowing our identity will not get us out of the trial until God wants us to learn what he wants us to learn. Below are a list of minor and major test that father tested me with during trials from June 2018 to September 2019:
  • Serving Mammon or God - Tithing faithfully out of love
  • Love - Love is not a feeling but a decision
  • Faith - Faith is not a feeling but a decision to believe God over the natural
  • Growth of Love - Loving in persecution 
  • Growth of Faith - Assurance in God's plan for my life, although the natural is getting worse
  • Worldliness - Hanging on to the idea of being a comfortable Christian
  • Obedience to the word of God - Trusting that born-again believers will be persecuted, suffer, have trials
  • Obedience to God's plan for my life - I don't have a say-so if I love and want to please God
  • Obedience to the Holy Spirit's leading - Learning what it means to wait on the Lord
  • Sanctification - Separating me from ungodly relationships due to demonic activity in the person's life, even if someone attends church.
  • Serving the body of Christ - Being in the five-fold is not about being served but serving
  • Communication with God - Pouring out opinions, traditions, and religious beliefs that don't come from the word
  • How to handle disappointment - Knowing how to trust the word of God even when I am disappointed by the pruning process and expectations of this journey
  • Hardship - How to trust the bible even when there's no food, no money, no social life
  • Sickness - Vertigo, Coronary, Swollen Foot
  • Family & Friends - How to trust God absent of supportive family and friends 
Recommended post: Understanding Trials & Tips to Overcome

I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.” - John 16:33
V. What I've learned from these trials
While there were many test, there were only three major trials. During these trials I've grown spiritually and I've learned the following:
  • Accepting trials while I am in it. This was difficult for me during all three of the major trials that I was in, because I thought that I could use the authority God had given me and faith to get me out of the trial. When I say I thought I could get out of the trial, I don't mean by asking others for help or involving others. Rather, I mean I thought I could get myself out of a trial by using faith and authority to move the mountain that God had allowed to be placed in my life, to teach me and grow me. If God allows the trial, we we will stay in the trial until we learn what he wants us to learn. We do have the option to ignore the Holy Spirit by giving up but then we will end  up settling for second best, and or be in a cycle of oppression from the enemy for the rest of our lives. God doesn't bless disobedience or quitters like how he wants to. He loves them but doesn't bless them with all that he has offered unless they take his pursuit to it.
  • Is it just me? While the severity of our trials will differ according to God's plan and purpose for our lives. What remains the same is that the devil will try to get us to give up on God's promise for our lives by alluding that we are the only one going through trials and tribulations, and that every other born-again believer who is actually led by the Holy Spirit are living their best life.
  • View the rest by clicking on the links below.
Recommended post: 7 Things I Wish I Knew As Soon As I was Born Again
Recommended post: 7 Things I Learned About Trials & Tribulations
Recommended post: 7 Tips to Help Us Communicate with God Better

I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go; I will counsel you with my eye upon you. Psalm 32:8
IIV. God's grace, mercy, love, kindness and patience
Unfortunately, I did not always overcome these trials gracefully. I'm embarrassed to mention during the second trial, I told God that I am not going to starve, that it's inhumane that he would have me in this trial. Before throwing a spoon in anger, I asked him where is it in the bible that a born-again believer in the epistles went hungry for long periods of time for the Kingdom of God? The Holy Spirit directed me to [Philippians 4:12]. I thought what kind of father would allow this? I'm grieved even thinking about the thoughts that crossed my mind. During the trial I told the father I am going to eat, I am not going to go without eating, and u was going to do this by asking for help. I knew that he did not want me to do that. To make a long story short, I know for my trial that asking for help would not please the father. He wanted me to embrace it. So, although I tested God like the Israelites did in the wilderness, I l end up not doing what I made up in my mind that I was going to do [Exodus 17:7]. Note: Not all those thoughts came from me. Obviously the enemy wanted me to accept those thoughts so I can believe it.

During this current trial that I am in, I told the father twice that I am done with trials. That I am over this season. While, I never blamed father for the trials nor did I say that I am done with my relationship with God. I did have the audacity to be angry at God because I was physically tired.

“Father, if you are willing, take this cup from me; yet not my will, but yours be done.” - Luke 22:42